9 December 2026
Wednesday. The festive season has reached the storeroom. Somebody has hung tinsel on the biscuit shelf. I suspect myself.
Downstairs, survivors have started turning up with gift vouchers. I understand these are bought on the Escape This website and handed over in cards that say things like “Merry Christmas, here is a zombie.” I find this touching. Gerald finds it confusing, but he finds December confusing generally.
A young man told the staff he had watched every season of every zombie programme ever made, played all the games, and could not be scared. He lasted four minutes before he was standing behind his sister. I have written him a very kind note.
The vouchers are, I gather, a popular present for the horror enthusiast who has everything except a cure. They are no use to anybody under fifteen, who may not come in at all, and who should be given a bicycle instead.
Merry Christmas from the lab. Gerald has been given a paper hat. It is on the outside of the glass.
— Dr Morrow, Storeroom B
